When I decided to share my life story with the World, soon after I began to realise how much I had underestimated the impact it would have on others - including myself.
I know there was going to be some response - after all it is a criminal biography - and they usually sell - but it was my aim to inspire - not to bask in some sort of newly acquired criminal celebrity status.
In my autobiography, Never Ending Circles, I told the story as it was and that prison is a mugs game as is crime. I suppose crime has paid for me in one way as I sell books and get paid to give talks. But this all goes towards my PhD which hopefully will contribute towards a greater understanding of desistance for criminology practitioners and others to benefit from.
Apart from the academic side of things though, I have been pleasantly surprised at the response from the public as my intended audience was students but it seems that it appeals to all audiences.
Unlike your usual criminal biography that 'bigs up' the gangster lifestyle and the big hauls they managed to steal, I have taken readers through the personality changes that occurred in me during my younger days which led me to develop some quite odd traits. I have been honest about my disgraceful stint in the army, my crimes, relationships, prison and how I eventually saw education as a way to turn my life around.
I wont give anyone a load of bull - it's an ongoing journey and I cant see how anyone cant just completely change as your personality is deeply engrained. I think a lot of criminality is down to immaturity and it's only when you grow up and see what harm to do to others - and truly want to change - that you can try and put things right.
It's also a case of learning to have remorse and empathy and not blame everyone else but yourself for your wrongdoings.
I have been explicit in my description of personal mental health problems from a young age and how they were a significant part of my haywire lifestyle. Far from me trying to make that an excuse for the terrible things I did - it was neverthelesss the root cause.
It's not all doom and gloom though. I have talked about some funny moments like e when a fellow Durham Prison inmate had to travel home by bus after being releases dressed as Santa Claus.
It must have been a very long journey as it was a hot July and as he had been arrested donned in his big red outfit - that's what he had to go home in.
Many have asked me if it was cleansing writing my life story. Well yes and no. At first I got quite depressed but when I emerged from the pub three weeks later, like a true warrior, I battled on and completed it. It has been cleansing in the end though for me and others.
I am so happy to say it is now having the effect I wanted it to have. It is helping others who have had similar problems with depression and addictions and I'm pleased to say I have managed to help residents of homes, individuals who have suffered and many who have had similar experiences but felt they were alone.
It has also got a few thinking of sharing their own stories too. After all it isn't just celebrities who can write their life stories. I still feel there much more I can tell though and now I am on my second autobiography, 'Doing Time After Time'.
